I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
