Sry I called you an 8
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
