If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
