Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
