i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
