So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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