Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Operation Purity has been aborted
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
