Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
