Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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