no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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