Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
