Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
