he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
