pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
