So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
