I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
