I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I deserve this hangover.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
