You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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