When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
