So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
