You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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