I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
