sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
