god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
