this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
