Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
