She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
