Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
