i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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