Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My bed smells like the plague
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