a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
