She's JV to your varsity
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
