i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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