I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
