if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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