he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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