Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
