She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
