I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
