i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When are your genitals available?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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