maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
