you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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