Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mxchele hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

Fav 4 1051 1196
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

mustard is like jesus in yellow tights

Fav 9 1783 1035
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

(425): View more from Washington

There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

Fav 99 3054 24678
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

(773): View more from Illinois

Responsible fail?

Fav 19 1742 5713
share tweet
(310): View more from California

please tell me if i'm home and in my bed

(1-310): View more from California

negative

(310): View more from California

come find me please

Fav 29 2578 5007
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan

Fav 16 5997 1391
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.

Fav 45 5735 1949
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

We were licking ciroc off the poker table

Fav 0 435 849
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(606): View more from Kentucky

did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him

Fav 0 50 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT