Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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