Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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