TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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