dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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