if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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