I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
