Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
