I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
