It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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