So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
