i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
