i think i have two assholes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize