Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
