hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
