so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
