You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
