Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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