I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
