Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
