all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
