She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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