dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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