dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
