Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
